Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
