Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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