Porn is love you can see.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
