Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
