I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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