from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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