Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
