The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
