I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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