You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
