I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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