no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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