I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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