wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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