Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
