im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize