What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
