I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
