it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
