your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
