Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
