girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
