Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
