Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
