My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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