i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
is that a dick in a sweater?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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