I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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