Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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