Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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