the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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