You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can't talk, ducks in the car
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
