He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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