I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
