I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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