do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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