so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she woke up with a sticky ear
you would pick up someone in the library
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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