I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
