Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
