Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
