it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
