So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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