the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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