The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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