I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
