i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
