Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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