just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
