either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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