Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
