So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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