There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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