she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
