I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
