his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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