i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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