hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
